Everything I'm Not
by yellowsocks
Summary: Pre-first episode Lilly is in love with Oliver, but he only has eyes for Hannah Montana. So when Lilly decides to try and move on, she finds out it's not as easy as it seems. Loliver&slightHoliver COMPLETE!
1. Torn Apart

**A/N: Okay, hello. Get excited people, because this my first, well...second multi chapter Hannah Montana story. But the first one was only 3 chapters, and was really short, so it barely counts.**

**Anyways, originally supposed to be a oneshot, but I got some ideas, and decided I couldn't just leave it, soo...I'm going to keep going.**

**Uhm, pre-first episode, and kinda AU-ish. (You'll understand when you read)**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Hannah Montana, or the lyrics from Everything I'm not by The Veronicas. :)**

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oh no, don't go changin'  
__that's what you told me from the start_

I think I've always had a bit of a crush on him. He was my best friend, Smokin' Oken. Ollie Bear. And he was the best friend a girl could ever ask for. But I wasn't supposed to feel this way about him. This could ruin everything.

He told me I was beautiful, that he wouldn't change a thing about me. But that's all lies. Or at least I think it is. Because I'll never be as beautiful as **her**, and if he could change me so I was just like her, he would do it in a heartbeat. I just know it.

_thought you were something different  
__that's when it all just fell apart_

Hannah Montana. He only had eyes for, and to be completely honest, I couldn't even look at her anymore. It makes me sick to my stomach. I'm tired of listening to him talk about like she's the best thing in the world. I'm his best friend though, shouldn't I be the best thing? 'Cause that's exactly what I want. I want, just for once, to be better than that stupid Hannah Montana.

And it's almost sad, 'cause she's thousands of miles away, and I'm right here, in front of him, but she's still the one he wants.

_'cause she's so perfect,  
__and no one measures up_

I get it. I'm the best friend, Hannah's the fantasy. But doesn't that make me reality? Maybe I'm not as good as the fantasy, but it's out of reach, and I'm right in front of his gorgeous eyes, waiting. I'm beginning to wonder how long it's going to take for him to wake up and realize that just 'cause she has a pretty face, doesn't make her all that.

_well i'm not perfect,  
__just all messed up_

I know I'm no Hannah Montana. I can't sing and I'm not a very good dancer. My name isn't found on the cover of magazines, or known by millions of adoring fans. And the only parties I'm invited to are Oliver's birthdays.

But just because I'm not her, doesn't mean I should be ignored by the only guy who has ever even slightly cared about me.

_i was losing myself, to somebody else  
__but now i see_

I've waited too long though. I'm done with all this messing around, and screwing with my heart. I'm moving on. Because for better, or for worse, the only one who's hurting here is me, and I've got to stop it before it's just too late. I'm not sure he's even worth it, or maybe that's just what I want to convince myself of. But why should I stick around, waiting for something that'll never happen. It's over.

_i don't wanna pretend  
__so this is the end, of you and me_

I'm sick of being the 'best friend'. Of pretending that all this falling head over heels for Hannah stuff isn't driving me insane, and breaking my heart. Of being blind to the feelings that were always there just to protect myself. Well not anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be his friend, he doesn't deserve it. I'm going to tell him, flat out, that he's never going to get with her, no matter how hard he tries. And most importantly, I'm going to forget the donut ever existed.

_'cause the girl, that you want  
__she was tearing us apart_

Whether he ever had a chance with Hannah or not, we would have been torn apart eventually. Because he still wants her more than he wants me. The constant talk about how he wants to meet her, see her. To look in to her eyes and tell her he loves her. I would have cracked sooner or later.

Hannah Montana ruined whatever Oliver and I once had and one of these days, I'll get my revenge.

_'cause she's everything,  
__everything i'm __**not.**_

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**Like it or not, leave a review. I'm going to try to update really fast, because I want to get this done before the weekend's over. But we'll see how it goes. :) Any questions, feel free to ask.**


	2. The Shadow of My Mistakes

**A/N: I am SO sorry. I got caught up in other things, and this story managed to COMPLETELY slip my mind. But I found it in one of my notebooks the other day and realized it was about time to update. Better late than never?**

**I had some comments telling me that this was too...predictable. And maybe it is. But then again maybe it's not. ;)**

**Also, if you're reading, please review. It means the world to me.**

**Disclaimer: Hannah Montana pretty much doesn't belong to me at all. Sad, I know.  
And I don't own the song What's Left of Me by Nick Lachey.**

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"Class, this is Miley Stewart."

I sigh. Another new girl. There's something weird about this one though. I feel like I know her.

"Everyone say hello to Miley." The teacher continues.

"Hello to Miley." Everyone groans, and I smile slightly.

Miley gives us all a funny look, before taking her seat at the front of the class.

The teacher begins to talk about something boring, and I can practically feel my brain falling right out, that's how bored out of my mind I am.

The bell rings, and at first I barely noticed.

_watch my life pass me by  
__in the rear view mirror._

I got up and the first thing I see is him. I hate him. And all the memories attached to him. I look away, trying to find someone else to talk to. And what do you know, the first girl I see is Miley. I walk over, and tap her on the shoulder. She jumps a mile, turning around to face me.

"Hey I'm Lily," I smile, "Didn't mean to scare you."

She breathes heavily, still in shock, "I'm Miley."

"So where are you from?" I ask.

"Tennessee." She replies, and something feels strange about the way she talks, it reminds me of someone.

I watch her for a few moments, "I feel like I know you."

Miley just raised an eyebrow, "Why do you say that?"

To be honest, I wasn't sure.

_pictures frozen in time  
__are becoming clearer_

And then it hits me, "Hannah Montana."

Her face seems to harden, almost like turning to stone, and I wonder why.

"Hannah Montana? That's...that's ridic..." She covers her face with her hands.

I just don't understand, unless...oh no.

"You're Ha-" I say, but her hand flies over my mouth, dragging me aside.

We find an empty hallway, and she removes her hand.

I give her a funny look, and she simply sighs

"You can't tell **anyone**." She said through clenched teeth.

You have no idea how much I wanted to slap her right then. This girl was the one who had stolen Oliver's heart from me, and she was completely oblivious.

_i don't want to waste another day  
__stuck in the shadow of my mistakes_

"I... I won't." I say quietly.

"Thank you." She whispers, a look of relief in her eyes, and I guess I never really thought about Hannah Montana being human. It wasn't her fault Oliver had a crush on her.

But I still hated her anyways. For now.

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	3. Keep Holding On

**A/N: It's been a long two months since school has started. Between non stop homework, and some...health issues, I've had no time for myself. But I'm really trying to get everything back on track, starting with my stories. I'm trying, I really am. So hopefully I'll get time to update soon.**

**Until then, here's Chapter 3. **

EDIT: sorry, i accidentally reposted chapter 1 here. i was in a rush to get it up, but here's the real chapter!

**Disclaimer: Hannah Montana's not mine, and neither are the lyrics to Stand by Rascal Flatts. (it's a good song though so, check it out)**

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I get home late that afternoon. Everything had been going wrong. One of my bike tires went flat, and it was too far to walk home, so I tried to find someone with an air pump. But of course, no one had one. So I called my mom, and she came to get me, but then the car ran out of gas. So she called a tow truck, and I walked with my bike the last bit of the way home. Needless, to say I was tired, maybe even exhausted. And I had already been angry enough as it is. I parked my bike in the shed, and walked inside, collapsing onto the couch.

_**you feel like a candle  
**__**in a hurricane**_

Grabbing the remote control, I switched the television on, and the 6 o' clock news is already on. And look who it is.

Miss Hannah Montana herself. Or should I say Miley?

I guess it still hasn't really sunk in that I 'met' Hannah today. That the girl who ruined my life had been standing right in front of me, and I was **nice **to her. I sighed, knowing just how pathetic that probably sounded. I hit the power button on the remote, the television screen going blank.

I look around, knowing I have to do something, because otherwise, I might never get up again. I look out my front window, and there he is. Oliver. I frown, lifting myself up off the couch and walking outside.

_**just like a picture,  
**__**with a broken frame**_

"Hey Lill-ay!" Oliver smiled brightly, "Wanna go for a bike ride?" He asked, indicating his bike which stood behind him.

"Can't. My tire's flat." I reply.

"Oh, that sucks. Well, we could just hang out instead."

I shrug, "Okay, I guess."

He walks in, taking off his helmet, and we go up to my room.

"Look, Oliver can we talk?" I ask quietly as I sit down on my bed, and lean against the wall.

"Sure, what's up?" Oliver said casually.

I look down, wondering if I really want to have this conversation with him, but I guess I've got to finish what I've started.

_**alone & helpless  
**__**like you've lost your fight.**_

"We're best friends, right?"

"Yeah of course, why do you ask?" Oliver asked, raising an eyebrow.

"So we should **always **tell each other the truth, right?" I continue, stalling for time.

"Right..."

"Okay, so..." I trail off. _Come on Lily, _I think to myself, _Just tell him how much it annoys you that he loves Hannah so much._

I took a deep breath, "Which is why I have to tell you..."

_Just do it._

"I love you." The words are out of my mouth, before I can stop them.

_**but you'll be alright,  
**__**you'll be alright.**_

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**I know these chapters are on the short side, but that's the way they're intended to be. It makes updates some faster than they would if I had to write more, and I want the story to be longer. **

**Please let me know what you think. Reviews mean the world to me!**


	4. The Nerve To Adore You

**A/N: I'm eternally sorry for making you all wait (well whoever is actually reading this) so long for this update. But I'm very proud of myself for updating both of my stories, plus adding a new loliver oneshotsongfic today, (called right here - you should check it out!)**

**Thanks for sticking with me :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hannah Montana, or the lyrics from Cold As You by Taylor Swift**

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**you put up walls and paint them all a shade of grey  
****and i stood there loving you, and wished them all away**

"I love you." The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.

His eyes widened, and I knew that I had just done the stupidest thing possible, and I begin to look for ways to cover.

"I mean as a friend. A best friend." I smile weakly, hoping that will cover up my mistake.

"Oh." He says, looking almost relieved, "Then I love you too."

I nod, still smiling at him. Hating the fact that I had just lied straight to his face.

"Anyways," I sigh, "I'm tired, so I'm going to go to bed. I'll see you at school tomorrow?"

Oliver nods, "Okay, see you then."

Moments later, he's gone and the door shuts behind him. I start the walk up to my room, and when I'm finally there I collapse on my bed.

It's over. He's gone.

**and you come away with a great little story  
****of a mess of a dreamer, with the nerve to adore**

I get this terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. I've just lied to my best friend. And one of these days when he finds out, he's going to hate me even more than he already does. Because compared to "Hannah Montana", I'm nothing. She could feed him full of lies, and even if he found out, he wouldn't care.

That is until he finds out who Hannah Montana really is.

She's a fake. I mean 'Miley', she seems like a nice person. But how am I honestly supposed to like her, knowing she's to blame for ruining my life.

Maybe I'm being a bit extreme, maybe I'm blowing this all out of proportion, but it's how I feel.

I know I can't expose this Miley girl, because I'm just not that mean. But I have to find a way to get Oliver's attention before it's too late.

**oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day  
****so just walk away, no use defending words that you will never say**

I tell him I love him, and he has NOTHING to say, until I reassure him that it's just as a friend. Which means he obviously doesn't feel the same way. So why even bother? Why don't I just let him fall for this dumb Miley girl, and be done with him?

And I would do that, if I wasn't head over heels in love with the guy. I can't let go of him, no matter how hard I try. It's not fair, but no one ever said life was fair. I can tell you one thing though, this whole situation's going to get pretty messy.

Miley isn't aware of Oliver's existence. Oliver is barely aware of mine.

Oliver loves Hannah, who is really Miley, but he doesn't know it yet.

I love Oliver, and I just realized how much of a jerk he is, but it doesn't change a thing.

**and now that i'm sitting here, ****thinking it through  
****i've never been anywhere cold as you.

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**if you're reading, please review. because if i don't get enough reviews there's not much point in making the story a whole lot longer so it'll probably be around 10 chapters. if i get more reviews, i'll probably make it longer. so review if you can! thanks for reading!**


	5. Guess You Don't Need Me

**A/N: I have tried to write this chapter, three times. And the first two times my computer crashed before I saved it. But third time's a charm! And here's the latest chapter.**

**I want to say a huge thank you to America's Angel for all her great reviews, and also to everyone else who reviewed so far!**

**Disclaimer: Hannah Montana isn't mine, and neither is the song Rockstar by Hannah Montana.**

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"I can't believe this." Oliver said as he looked down at the pieces of paper he held in his hand.

"Well believe it." I smiled.

"How did you get these?" He asked excitedly.

"A friend. She owed me a favour." I said. And that was the truth. It was bent just enough that I didn't have to reveal anything, but little enough that I wasn't lying.

"But they're like, practically **impossible **to get these days."

I shrugged, "Look, are you just going to keep questioning it, or will you accept it and go with me?"

"Hannah Montana concert, here I come!" Oliver exclaimed.

**xxx**

_sometimes i walk a little faster  
__in the school hallways, just to get next to you._

Oliver's eyes widened as Hannah Montana came on stage and began to sing.

"Lilly, I don't know how to thank you." He screamed.

I just smiled, but on the inside I was thinking of the thousands of ways he could thank me.

Forget about Hannah. Notice me. Stop being a donut. Kiss me.

I had to admit the concert was pretty good. This Miley girl had a great voice, and her songs really spoke to me.

When it was over, I turned to Oliver, "You ready to go meet Hannah?"

Oliver swallowed nervously and then nodded.

**xxx**

_some days i spend a little extra  
__time in the morning, just to impress you._

For a moment, I forgot it was Oliver I was sitting next to when Hannah entered the room, because the scream was so high pitched it **had** to have been a girl.

I took a deep breath, and put on a smile. "Hi Hannah, this is my friend Oliver, and I'm Lilly. He's, uh pretty much your biggest fan."

Oliver's eyes seemed to have glazed over, and he couldn't stop looking at her, "You're pretty."

"Well, uh thank you." Hannah said awkwardly.

Oliver snapped out of his daze, and fumbled through his pockets, finally finding a pen and paper, "Can you sign this?"

Hannah laughed, and I felt my fist clench. I knew how much Oliver liked her laugh.

"Of course." She smiled.

I sat back down, and watched Oliver and Hannah talk. But I wasn't really listening. I was just waiting, hoping he'd say something completely stupid and mess everything up.

**xxx**

_guess you don't notice,  
__guess you don't need to._

"Lilly, you're really the best." He gushed.

We were in his bedroom after the concert, and he kept thanking me over and over again for the 'best night of his life'.

"No problem." I shrugged

"Hannah...she's just so pretty, and don't you just love the name Hannah? And she's such a great singer, and I just can't believe I got to meet her, and she was so nice and-"

"OLIVER! Shut up!" I screamed. I was sick of listening to him go on about this girl.

"I'm sorry...what did I do?" Oliver asked confusedly, "I thought...I thought you liked Hannah too."

"That's not the problem, you donut." I muttered.

He was silent for a moment. And I was quite happy he wasn't gushing about Hannah anymore.

"Then what **is** the problem?" He asked.

I looked up at him, and I could feel my hands start to shake.

_sad you're not seeing, what you're missing.  
__on the outside shying away, on the inside dying to say..._

And the next thing I knew, I was kissing him and for a moment he kissed back. But within moments, he pulled away.

"Lilly..."

I looked into his eyes, and tears rolled down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry, it was a mistake." And I can't look at him anymore, so I get up and leave.

_i'm unusual, not so typical  
__way too smart to be waiting around._

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	6. Like A Heart Needs A Beat

**A/N: I'm actually really surprised I got this up so soon. I mean, I guess it really wasn't that fast. But faster than I had expected myself to get it up.**

**Anyways, I'll stop blabbering now and let you read.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own... Well actually, I don't own much. I don't own Hannah Montana. And I don't own Apologize by One Republic/Timbaland. But ohmygoodness, I wish I did :) I just own myself and my brain where these lovely ideas come from!**

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I passed him in the hallway the next morning, and he gave me a somewhat...sympathetic look. Like I was suffering from, insanity or something.

But I wasn't. I was just dying, of a broken heart. And he didn't even care. He wasn't going to care.

We had kissed. I know he kissed me back, I wasn't just imagining it. And what's sad, is I'd do it all again. I wouldn't be afraid to put myself out there for him again. I would kiss Oliver again in a heartbeat. But this time, I don't think he'd kiss back.

Maybe he'd push me away, maybe he'd actually ask me what I was doing and not just forget about it. Or maybe he'd just crush my heart again.

**xxx**

_I'd take another chance, take a fall  
Take a shot for you_

As I walked out of English class, I ran straight into him. I swear it was an accident, I wasn't watching where I was going, and he probably wasn't either. He's been avoiding me all day.

"Oliver." I said quietly, feeling my heart break just a little more.

"I'm dating Hannah." He said simply. And trust me, that would have been the last thing to cross my mind. I introduced Oliver to "Hannah" so that Miley wouldn't like him hopefully, because he'd make an idiot out of himself. But apparently, I'd just messed this up even more.

It was my fault. But that didn't make it hurt any less.

_And I need you like a heart needs a beat  
But that's nothing new_

"Good for you, Ollie." I smiled, but the tears were out of my eyes before I could even speak again. I turned away. He didn't need to know how much this hurt me. It's his life, his decisions, "You got what you wanted."

"The kiss last night..." He began, but I cut him off.

"...was a mistake." I finished for him. I took a deep breath, before continuing, "I was just frustrated. I don't know what I was thinking."

And as I turned back to look at him, I could tell by the look in his eyes he didn't believe a word I was saying, but I knew it had to be said.

_Yeah, yeah  
I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue _

"Lils, if it was all lies, then why are you crying?" He asked, reaching out to touch my arm, but I pulled away.

"Because I'm happy for you." I grinned, pushing back the tears.

He gazed at me, right into my eyes, like they held all the answers. And if they did, his questions no longer needed answering.

"I'm sorry." He said, not once looking away. And as he grabbed my arms, I felt the sparks fly but I contained myself.

I simply looked down at the floor, unable to look him in the eyes.

_And you say, sorry like the angel  
Heaven let me think was you._

"It's too late." I breathed, before releasing myself from his clutch and walking away. It had only been two seconds, and I was crying again. I ran to the other end of the hall, sliding down the wall and sitting on the ground. I felt like my world was crashing down around me, piece by piece.

But this was far from over. And we all knew it.

Oliver, Hannah, Miley. Even me.

This was probably never going to end. We'd just have to deal with that.

_But I'm afraid  
It's too late to apologize, it's too late _

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**Eee, favourite chapter to write so far, I thinks! And I looove this song by the waay.**

**So yes, do review please:)**


	7. Losing You

**A/N: Okay, so I've seriously been trying to upload this for over an hour, but some stupid technical glitch got in my way. Anyways, here's chapter seven. It's kind of really short, I know. But I'll try to update quicker. I have some free time right now, so I'll hopefully be getting more stuff posted. **

**Disclaimer: Hannah Montana doesn't belong to me, and the song I Hate Myself for Losing You by Kelly Clarkson? Yeah that's not mine either.**

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you got what you deserved  
hope you're happy now_

I woke up this morning with a terrible headache. It was a Friday, so just one more day and I could escape all this nonsense. But it didn't stop me from wanting to throw the covers back over my head and sleep all day.

Oliver Oscar Oken.

Yesterday he broke my heart, and I'm slowly trying to put it back together.

But it just seems to shatter more at more at every thought of him.

_'cause everytime i think of her with you  
__it's killing me inside_

And even more at the thought of him and "Hannah".

I can't believe this happened. Why Miley would make such a stupid move like that, I have no idea. But I guess I don't really know the story behind it.

I sigh, lifting the covers up, and sliding out of my bed.

It's time to face the world.

Not that I want to. But do I really have a choice?

_and now i dread each day,  
__knowing that i can't be saved_

It feels like just a few seconds and suddenly I'm standing in front of the doors, but as I go to reach for the handle, I hesitate.

Maybe I'm not ready for this. Maybe I'm not ready to face him again. Maybe I should just go home and hide from the world.

I don't want them to see me like this. I feel like half a person.

But I take a deep breath, and I open the doors.

I can do this.

_from the loneliness  
__of living without you_

And as I walk in, I can feel people's eyes shoot like daggers through me. I know I probably look like crap. Heck, I didn't even brush my hair this morning. I'm wearing baggy sweatpants, and an oversized sweater. My hair is a tangled mess, and there are bags under my eyes.

Trust me, I don't feel any better than I look.

And there he is, looking as put together as ever. How he never breaks down, or falls apart, I'll never know.

"Lilly! Are you okay?" I watch his lips move, but the words seem to be off. Like it's all delayed. The lips move, and then the words come out.

I blinked a few times, starting to feel dizzy. I suppose I shouldn't have been up most of the night, crying my eyes out. Note to self: never do that again, especially not over some stupid boy.

I shake my head slowly.

"No," I manage to whisper. And I can see the concern on his face, but I don't really care. He cares more about stupid Hannah then he ever will me.

But as I feel him pick me up off the ground, and scoop me into his arms, everything around me darkens.

_and oh, i don't know what to do  
__not sure that i'll pull through  
__i wish you knew..._

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**reviews pretty much make my day, so leave one!**


	8. Pretend I'm Okay

**A/N: Okay, so I was kind of holding off on putting this chapter up. Because I was slightly disappointed that I only got two reviews last chapter. I know people have this on story alert, people that have reviewed before. So please, it only takes two seconds. Even if it's just to say, "good job." That's fine. I'll take what I can get.**

**But please, if you're still interested in reading...REVIEW. it makes me so happy.**

**Anyways, this is kind of a filler chapter, which is why it's really short. But there's more important stuff coming up. Promise :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the ideas. Song is What Hurts The Most - Rascal Flatts.**

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there are days every now and again  
i pretend i'm okay, but thats not what gets me_

When I finally opened my eyes, all I saw was the school nurse, hovering over me. Oliver was nowhere to be seen, and I couldn't help but immediately hating him for just leaving me here. Sure he had played the hero, and brought me. But he was supposed to be my friend, he was supposed to stick around and make sure I was okay.

"Well missy, you had a close call there. Good thing your boyfriend saved you." She said in her southern accent.

"He's not my boyfriend," I growled. I could wish all I wanted, but when it came down to it, that was the truth.

The nurse just looked at me funny.

I had been so close to getting Oliver back. Away from Hannah. But in the end, I only pushed him closer. And I hated myself for it.

_what hurts the most  
__was being so close  
__and having so much to say_

"Whatever." The nurse shrugged, "Here, eat this. It'll make you feel better."

She handed me a granola bar, and sighing, I ate it.

I suppose eating breakfast before I left the house this morning would have been a good idea. But I seem to have lost my appetite.

"Can I go to class now?" I asked.

The nurse nodded, turning and leaving the room. I took a deep breath, grabbing my bag and hopping off the bed.

_and watching you walk away  
__and never knowing what could have been_

I got out into the hall, and noticing it was empty, I checked my watch, wondering what time it was.

It was still only 10:00, so I had to go to math class. But as I was almost there, I stopped myself.

Oliver was in my Math class. And he was the last person I wanted to face right now. So I took one last look at the door to the classroom, and I was out of there.

I ran outside, right out the front door. And began to walk home. I didn't need school. It only made everything hurt more.

It was a fact I was just going to have to face. Whatever Oliver and I once were, we weren't anymore. I didn't want to be his friend, and he didn't want to be my boyfriend. Because he's in love with stupid Hannah Montana.

That's what hurts.

_not seeing that, loving you  
__is what i was trying to do_

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**reviews are love.**


	9. Alone Again

**A/N: Okay, so I still only got two reviews. But I had the inspiration to write this chapter right after I posted the last one. I waited until today to post it. I really want to thank America's Angel who has been there since early on, and reviews every chapter. :) It really means a lot.**

**Disclaimer: The song lyrics are from Love Makes The World Go Round by Ashlee Simpson, and I quite obviously don't own Hannah Montana in case you hadn't caught that yet.**

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Here, here I am again  
And I'm starin at these same four walls  
Alone again _

I lucked out, because neither of my parents were home. The house was quiet and empty, so I just went inside and walked up to my room.

I knew that later I would have to deal with the call from the school, informing my parents that I wasn't at school today. They would find out, and I'd be in more trouble than I'd ever been in. But being able to hide under the covers all day would probably make it all worth it in the end.

_And now, all the colors blend  
And I'm growing old and I've become  
This empty thing _

I'm just so sick of trying to pull myself together. To put on a front for everyone around me. No one sees through it. They think I'm happy. So why should I pretend to smile? It just makes it all hurt more.

I glanced at my alarm clock. It was already 12:04. Thinking about how my friends at school were eating lunch right now, I pulled out my cellphone and looked through the contact list. I wanted to talk to someone, but who to call?

_Hold on, its tragic  
Stumbling through all this static _

I could feel the tears run down my face, and I shut my eyes, placing the cellphone on my night stand.

I never realized how close Oliver and I were until now. Oliver was the first one on my contact list, and after him all the names just blended together. Because I didn't barely even know half the people. Oliver was my best friend.

He was the one I ran to, when I was upset. Or I just needed a shoulder to lean on. He was there for me.

_I just wanna talk to you  
And my broken heart just has no use _

But with my heart broken, now more than ever, and with it being his fault, how was I supposed to talk to him?

I picked up my cellphone and pressed a few buttons and it began to ring.

"Hello?"

"Ollie?" I asked slowly.

"Lilly. Are you okay? I wanted to stay. The nurse made me go back to class. Where are you anyways?"

I wanted to believe him. Really, I did. But I wasn't sure if I could.

"I have to ask you something." I said, completely ignoring his questions.

"Okay, go ahead."

"Could you ever love me?"

There was silence on the other end.

_And I, I guess promises are better left unsaid, yeah _

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**I'm about to start working on the next chapter, so it should be up soon, and it'll be up sooner if you review! Please?**


	10. So Much To Say

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter! Keep it up, and the chapters will keep coming ;)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the song Broken Heart by Motion City Soundtrack.**

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But I get carried away  
with every phrase  
and made up malady_

I had since hung up on Oliver. He didn't have an answer for me, so I had nothing left to say to him.

_"Lilly..." He had begun, but I knew already he was just going to crush my heart again._

_"Forget it, Oliver. I'll talk to you later."_

_"Lilly, where'd you go today?" He asked quickly._

_"Home. I didn't feel good." I lied, before hanging up._

He didn't deserve the truth.

_The longer I hide  
behind these lies,  
The more I disintegrate_

I was falling apart even more, and I hated it. I just wanted him to hold me, and tell me it would all be okay.

I just wanted to tell him how much he meant to me, and I wanted to be with him forever.

But he'd never want me. Not in the state I was right now, or with Hannah Montana still in the picture.

And that's when it hit me.

_So much to say  
But no words to convey_

I had known since day one that Hannah had always been the problem. I didn't have a hope in hell with her being the only one Oliver had eyes for.

And before, there was no way I could stop that. But now, there might just be a way.

I checked my watch. 3:18. If I ran fast, I could make it back to school and talk to Miley just as school was ending.

Hopefully things would be taking a turn for the better.

So I ran downstairs, slipping on my shoes, and ran right out the door.

I was so out of breath by the time I got to the school, and the moment I reached out to grab the door handle, the bell rang, and students filled the halls.

_The loneliness building  
with each passing day_

I knew where her locker was, so I pushed my way down the halls. I'm not exactly the tallest person in the world, so I almost got knocked to the floor a couple times, but I finally got there. She was standing in front of her locker, shoving some books inside.

"Miley!" I exclaimed, bending over, trying to catch my breath.

"Oh hey, Lilly." Miley smiled, "You okay?"

"Yeah, just tired. Look, we need to talk." I said seriously.

"Sure, what's up?" She asked, turning to face me.

I shook my head, "Not here."

Raising an eyebrow, she shoved the remaining things in her locker and closed it, before following me down an empty hallway.

_But I never get used to it,  
you just have to live with it_

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**Next Chapter: Miley & Lily talk ;) Big surprise there, eh? **

**Aha. leave a review. please!**


	11. Finding the Words

**A/N: I apologize for the long wait, but I hope this extra long chapter makes up for it! And I definitely think it will ;)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hannah Montana or the song Inconsolable by the Backstreet Boys.**

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a thousand more regrets unravelling  
if you were here right now  
i swear i'd tell you this_

"So what did you need to talk about, Lilly?" Miley asked, once I had let go of her and we had stopped in an empty hall.

"I brought Oliver to that Hannah concert so he would get over his crush on you. Because I didn't want him clinging on to fantasy," I lied, "And now I find out Hannah's dating him."

Miley sighed, "I like Oliver. Like, really like him. But I knew he'd never fall for a girl like me. I saw the posters of Hannah Montana in his locker. And so when you asked me for the tickets to go see the concert, that's why I gave you the backstage passes. I just wanted a chance to get to know him. And he's amazing."

I shut my eyes, shaking my head softly. I was going to have to tell Miley how I really felt about Oliver. But I just didn't want to sound like the jealous best friend. Too bad that's what I already knew I was.

"Miley. I completely understand you feeling that way about him. And you know why?"

Miley raised an eyebrow, "Why?"

"Because I feel the same way. I've liked Oliver for quite a while now. But I guess I had my chance, and now he's yours. So I'll just leave you two alone. Sorry to bother you."

And with that I walked away. I wanted her to tell me I could have him, that she didn't mean to interfere. But I knew she wouldn't.

It was right then that I realized it was over.

_baby, i don't want to waste another day  
__keepin inside it's killin me_

So now I just had to tell Oliver.

Even though I'm pretty sure by now he had a pretty good idea. I'd told him I loved him quite a few times, and then ran away from it. But I needed to tell him one last time, and I also needed to tell him that I couldn't talk to him anymore. That being friends with him just wasn't going to work out.

I walked out the school doors for the second time that day. My head was full of thoughts of what to tell him.

I didn't want to hurt him, but he'd only spent the last little while hurting me. Whether it was intentional or not.

I turned onto his street, and I could see his house already. But the closer I got, the more thoughts I had of turning around and running away.

Somehow, I kept going though. And I really don't know how. But there I was standing on his doorstep. I quickly pressed the doorbell, so I wouldn't have a chance to second guess myself.

And within moments, there he was.

_'cause all i ever wanted  
__comes right down to you, to you._

"Lilly." He whispered.

"Oliver," I nodded, stepping around him and into his house, "I need to talk to you."

"Oh, okay. Would you like something to-"

"No, thank you." I interrupted. I didn't want to be here long.

"Well, what's up then?"

I turned to face him, but one look in his brown eyes and I practically fell apart.

Taking a deep breath, I managed to blurt out, "Wecan'tbefriendsanymore."

He looked at me in shock, confused by what I had just said.

"Why can't we be...We've been friends since...kindergarten."

"Yes." I said, teeth clenched together, "And now we're not."

And I tried to leave, but he chased after me, grabbing my wrist.

"Lilly, wait! Don't leave like this. What did I do?"

"Oliver Oscar Oken! You know damn well what you did. Let's see, first you fell in love with Hannah Montana. That ripped my heart out of my chest. Second, she was the only thing you talked about for **months**. That threw my heart to the ground. And now I take you to her concert, hoping that maybe by meeting her you'd realize that I was just as good as she was, and you come out of there, in a relationship with her! Well you know what Oliver? That got my heart stepped on, crushed and then shattered to bits. And it hurts. I'm not going to pretend it doesn't. So I'm done with this."

He looked at his feet in embarassment.

"I am in love with you. And it's pretty clear to me now that you'll never feel the same. So go run off to Hannah, I'm sure she'll comfort you and be your new best friend. But you're old one? She's gone. And she's not coming back. Goodbye Oliver."

And I looked up at him one last time, kissing his cheek softly.

"Don't go." He whispered, still not letting go of my wrist.

"I'm already gone." I said firmly.

But the next thing I knew, he spun me in, kissing me like there was no tomorrow.

_i wish that i could find the words to say  
__baby i would tell you everytime you leave  
__i'm inconsolable._

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**review:)**


	12. To Show You The Lights

**A/N: Well it looks like the end has come, my friends. The end of my first full length Hannah Montana story! This wasn't originally where I intended to end it, but I think it worked better here anyways :) Let me know what you think!**

**I want to thank all the readers who have reviewed even if it was just once or twice, because you guys kept me going.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hannah Montana or the song, "Sophomore Slump Or Comeback Of The Year" by Fall Out Boy. **

**(P.S. the song choice had very little to do with the song lyrics, and more to do with the fact that I wanted to keep up the tradition of using a song, and this song is my favourites by them. The lyrics are only at the beginning and end, because I found if I put them in the middle it interrupted the story too much. Okay, I'm done talking now before the author's note is longer than the chapter!)**

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_Are we growing up or just going down?  
It's just a matter of time until we're all found out_

I couldn't help myself. I kissed back.

And I'm not going to deny enjoying every second of it, because even though I could see Miley in the back of my mind, I pushed the thought away.

I didn't care anymore.

I felt my back up against a wall, as Oliver leaned farther into the kiss.

And I was in heaven.

Absolute heaven.

I began to wonder where he had learned to kiss like that. And it was then that I pulled away.

"Lilly." He breathed, as I walked underneath his arm and stood beside him.

"I'm sorry, Oliver. I love you, but I won't be the other girl. I can't do that to Miley."

"Miley?"

Oh snap.

"I mean Hannah!" I exclaimed quickly, a million excuses for saying Miley, flying through my mind, "Miley and I. That new girl. We got in a fight earlier today. And I'm just angry at her."

That was the truth. It was just kind of... you know, bent a little.

"But if you hated Miley, you wouldn't care if we keep doing this," Oliver said, before kissing my lips gently again.

And I felt my shoulders collapse. It was strange how with just one touch, he could mess me up this much.

"Oliver, you have to stop. You love Miley."

I did **NOT** just say that again.

"Lilly. I'm not dating Miley. And I'm not dating Hannah either."

"I'm sorry, come again?" I asked in disbelief.

"Here, sit down." Oliver sighed, gesturing towards the couch. I did, and he sat down next to me.

"I know that Miley and Hannah are the same person. The first day Miley came to our school, I ran into her in the hallway and it took me about two seconds to figure out who she was. We talked, and she was a really nice girl but it was then that I realized, maybe there was more to life than Hannah. It had been a couple weeks then since I had noticed this other girl around. She goes to our school, and she's amazing. But I thought it would be really awkward to tell her how I felt. So I asked Miley to help me out. But seeing as I knew no one would believe I would date Miley, you know she's not really my type..."

"Wait, so you're telling me there's **ANOTHER **girl? I can't **BELIEVE** you, Oliver." And I immediately stood up, going to leave.

But Oliver somehow managed to run around and stand in front of me.

"Can I finish the story?"

"Oh, right so I can hear you tell me how you fell in love with some gorgeous girl who's not me."

Oliver raised his eyebrow, and I finally gave in, "Fine go on, whatever."

"Thank you. Anyways, so I asked her to date me as Hannah. She thought I was out of my mind, that someone would know there was something wrong with it. But I just told her to trust me."

I really wasn't liking this story.

"I needed to make this other girl jealous. Because I had a feeling she felt the same way, but I just needed to know for sure. She almost told me quite a few times, and I knew I was so close. But then this afternoon she gave up on me. And I had to stop her. So I kissed her."

Suddenly things were beginning to make sense.

"And so now here I am sitting here, putting my heart on the line for her. And I just need to hear her say those three words, because I'm not sure I'm going to be able to keep going without her anymore." He smiled at me, taking my hand in his.

I could feel that hand shake like crazy as I looked up into his eyes.

"I..." I began, but I stopped. I knew I could do this. Taking a deep breath, I tried again.

"I love you, Oliver." I smiled, tears of happiness falling from my eyes.

And he just couldn't contain himself any longer. He picked me up and spun me in his arms, kissing me once again, just like there was no tomorrow.

"I love you too, Lilly."

But this time, I don't think I'd mind if there was no tomorrow. Because this is the happiest I'm ever going to be.

_Take our tears, put them on ice  
Cause I swear I'd burn this city down to show you the light_

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